
Love, at its core, is the setting aside of one’s own needs and offering to meet the needs of others without expecting anything in return. Love is not a feeling, although you can feel love. You have heard it said that love is a verb. To learn what the various forms of love are, we have to explore the various ways Jesus loved. I have discovered during my life that a journey of this magnitude is more rich in experience if I take it with someone I love than to do it alone! One of the most profound ideas we have learned so far is that love does come in different forms. We have had some powerful discussions and are continuing in this journey of learning about love. We both listened to the Relational Freedom podcast and are reading Bold Love together. A really cool thing happened when I invited my wife into this journey with me. One of the recommendations from the podcast was to read Dan Allender’s book Bold Love.
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I am excited though to learn more about what love is and how to love so I can offer and experience relational freedom more consistently. But to really be honest about my life by taking a look at the heart level, I have far to go and much to learn. Now, I would be contradicting myself as to what I just stated earlier if I did not reiterate that I have learned and grown in how I love others over the last four years. I have mostly “loved” from the motive of receiving love, which is not love at all. I would say far too often, I have experienced and offered relational entrapment. The truth is, I have not loved well consistently over the course of my life and thus have not experienced very much relational freedom. The scariest question I could ask others is, “What is the impact of my relationship on you?” And then be willing to hear what they have to say. But how have those glimpses of love translated into how I love others? And therein lies the challenge for me of honestly examining the measure of my Christ-likeness in the quality of what I offer to others relationally. I have experienced love from Jesus and love from others many times over the course of my Christian life, which has helped me understand more what love looks like. I have received such profound healing and encounters with Jesus through the incredible ministry of Ransomed Heart, at E6 Boot Camps, E6 book studies, and through the deep relationships with my brothers at E6. The good news is, I have been dealing with these wounds and my brokenness a lot over the last four years. My childhood story and most of my young adult life is one of betrayal, abandonment, neglect, and a lot of brokenness in the form of my own sin as a result of not dealing with the wounds of my childhood. I think for most of my life, I have had a very distorted view of love. I have struggled immensely in my Christian journey understanding what love is, especially being able to receive love. Sounds simple, right? If it is that simple, why is it so hard for me to do then on a regular basis? What does relational freedom even look like? It appears at first glance that relational freedom only happens when I learn to love as Jesus did, so I can live freely from his love and offer relationship to others based on his love. So let me get this straight, the measure of my Christ-likeness is based on how I love others?! I don’t even know where to start to dissect this statement, but judging by the stirring of my soul, I knew I was being called into exploring this challenging truth more. Have you ever had someone impart wisdom to you and then ask such a penetrating question that you can literally feel your heart sink and then feel the physical weightiness of it land on your shoulders? That is exactly what happened to me. Over the course of three hours of discussion, John Eldredge and Craig McConnell discuss the impact and challenges of the following idea, “The truest expression of our Godliness is how we love others.” And the core question they asked was, “What kind of relationship do you offer to others?”

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On the way driving out and back, I listened to a three part podcast series from Ransomed Heart titled Relational Freedom. It truly was a special time and one of those trips we wished would have never ended. It was a wonderful time filled with laughter, awe at the beauty of God’s handiwork in the vast mountains and scenery, joy, adventure, moments of relational challenges coupled with moments of such deep love and appreciation for our family, blessing, and most precious were the memories we made together. A month ago, our family went to Colorado Springs for our summer vacation.
